Why did a hostage's brother tell a hostage's mother he would not want to be her son?
And how this is dangerous to the health of Israeli society and to the successful coping with the crisis.
There are two hostage families’ organizations in Israel. Let’s call them Y and Z for now. Y gets more air-time on mainstream media. Z believes that Y’s behaviour is part of the reason they are having a hard time getting their kids and other hostages home. For their part, members of Y have called some members of Z “Death Eaters” (origin of the term here). On a TV discussion two days ago, a brother, a member of Y, told a member of Z, a mother, that he would not want to be her son, that he would be demoralized in the tunnels of Gaza if he heard what she is saying.
I have to wonder about this given that released hostages have said how much it meant to them when they would pick up news about the demonstrations for their release at Hostages’ Square in Tel Aviv. And, while I agree with Z that the demonstrations play into the hands of Hamas, I could not help but be moved when released hostages talked about how the demonstrations lifted their spirits.
Members of Y and Z have more in common with each other than either of them have with those who can only try to imagine what they are going through. Yet, they express themselves so differently and they have a diametrically opposed approach to resolving the hostage crisis.
After the execution of the last deal, both groups are insisting that any future deal stipulate the return of ALL the hostages in one go. No more ‘three released one week’ and three the next. On that point, they agree.
The remaining point of contention is that Y wants the hostages home NOW and AT ANY COST and Z believe that Israel has to pressure Hamas into begging us to take them off their hands.
Group Y is the Hostages and Missing Families Forum and Z is Forum Tikva. I have written about them before so if you are not familiar with them, you can click here and here.
Zvika Mor, founder of Forum Tikva, recently received word that his son, Eitan, is still alive in Hamas captivity. He has said before that he knows that his approach to resolution of the crisis endangers his son’s life. At the same time, he argues that the nation cannot surrender to a terrorist organization. The is an impossible position to be in.
Two days ago, Mor was interviewed on Arutz 7 [in Hebrew only] and I will paraphrase here, in English, the points from that interview.
But before that, I want to look at the last point in the interview because it raises an issue fundamental to the health of Israeli society.
Dani Elgarat is brother to the murdered hostage Itzik Elgarat and Ditza Or is mother to the hostage Avinatan Or. As mentioned in the first paragraph of this piece, in a television panel discussion of the hostage crisis, Elgarat told Or that he would not want to be her son because of her openly stated position that Israel should be fighting Hamas in every way possible and not engaging in negotiations.
Or had no problem with Elgarat’s disagreement with her but she objected to his turning his disagreement into an ugly (her word) personal attack against her. She was also disappointed that none of the other panel participants stood up for her. Or stated the importance of debating the different points of view regarding preferred resolution of the hostage crisis but that the discussion needs to focus on ideas and not descend into personal attacks.
The Interview
The interview with Tzvika Mor answers many questions about Forum Tikva’s approach to resolving the crisis, what continuing the fighting means, what another deal means, and more. I paraphrase his responses to the questions.
Hamas times its videos and announcements …
regarding the hostages according to what is happening in Israel at the moment. For example, they release videos just before Shabbat or on Shabbat because the largest demonstrations occur at Hostages Square on Saturday evening after Shabbat.
Hamas itself has stated that the demonstrations serve their purposes because they put pressure on the Israeli government. The government is fighting Hamas, and at Hostages Square in Tel Aviv, demonstrators are fighting the government. The videos heat up the demonstrations and one should not allow that to happen.
While in today’s world, we cannot prevent the sharing of these videos on social media, the mainstream media should not cooperate with Hamas by broadcasting their videos. The less air-time they get, the less power they will have over us.
Need to lift our spirits
Just like we went into the first year of Hanukah, Purim, Passover, etc., we are still fighting a war. And during a war it is most important to lift our spirits and strengthen them because the war is against the spirit of Am Yisrael (the People of Israel) and being strong will influence Hamas’ actions. Because of this I ask us all to celebrate the holiday and to connect with each other. This would honour Eitan because he could have just taken off and saved himself but he did not — he went back again and again to help people escape until he was captured himself. I ask people to support the soldiers in rehab centers and their families and the bereaved families of fallen soldiers and not just hostage families.
The deal before us now
From the outset of Hamas’ violation of the ceasefire on Oct 7th, we asked the government not to negotiate with Hamas, rather to just apply pressure to them. We believe that, rather than being busy hiding the hostages they would have been busy with their own survival. We believe that that would have led to the release of all the hostages long ago.
Once the negotiations began, we asked the government, that since they ARE engaging in negotiations to insist on the release of everyone together, to bring them all home on the same day on the same bus.
We are now demanding once more that Israel insist on all of them coming home at the same time. We want them to apply every pressure they can — military pressure, withholding humanitarian aid, diplomatic pressure. We are glad that the Hostages and Missing Families’ Forum has joined us in promoting this message.
The main difference between Forum Tikva and the Hostage Families’ Forum Now
… is that the latter are calling for ending the war — i.e. surrendering to Hamas. This would mean that the sacrifices of our fallen and injured soldiers would have been for nothing. Hamas will return to the 6th of October and the Hamas “business plan” whereby murdering Israelis brings them millions of dollars will persist.
On the other hand, we call on the government not to surrender — to bring the hostages home in a way that will not endanger the citizens of Israel. We believe it is possible but it requires courage; with the support of President Trump, it is time to follow through.
(In a separate interview, Mor said that Forum Tikva’s basic premise is that Hamas will never return everyone and that they refuse to provide a list of hostages so they will not be confined by our names and numbers. In the end, there will be five or ten hostages left and Hamas will say that it does not know what Israel is talking about unless and until we agree to leave Gaza with the promise (and with international guarantees) that we will not attack again.)
The interviewer asks:
But what about finding an excuse to attack in spite of that?
Mor responds with: If we could do that, it would be great, but I can promise you that Hamas will not send one bullet over the border for the next ten years as Gaza is being rebuilt and we will not be able to prevent them from re-arming and more. Israel is a democratic law-abiding country and we cannot violate an agreement we sign.
If a deal is signed . . .
whereby Hamas releases all the hostages in exchange for an Israeli withdrawal, Mor admits that as the father of a hostage he cannot oppose that. At the same time, he would expect Netanyahu to explain to the nation, and to the residents in the Gaza Envelop especially, how he intends to protect our lives.
He does not believe we will get to that eventuality because he does not believe that Hamas will admit to all the hostages they are holding. Therefore, according to Mor, there will be no alternative than fighting to get them all back.
But what does it mean to return to war . . .
when we saw how the IDF had to return repeatedly to the same places, such as Jebaliya? Mor said that the fighting will be different this time, partly because the soldiers have had time to rest and renew their strength, partly because we have a new IDF Commander-in-Chief and a new Southern Command leader, both of whom have a different approach than their predecessors.
About Hamas surrender
Mor said something he admits is not acceptable to think even though it is logical and clear: In Deuternomy it is written that if our enemy (even Amalek) surrenders and accepts the seven Noahide Commandments, that is fine. But it also says that we do not endanger soldiers if we have not yet tried everything possible to achieve surrender before that. And we did not do that.
Mor explains that, in exchange for a cup of water, Hamas will have to bring us their weapons caches. We cannot endanger our soldiers after Hamas has had a chance to boobytrap everything. There is no reason to send in soldiers if we have not tried everything else at our disposal.
What about Bibi?
Mor was asked what he thinks about the arguments that Bibi has no interest in releasing the hostages, that he is holding back a deal, and that those recently released is all due to Trump. He answered that
Blinken accused Hamas of refusing to agree to the May 24 proposal and he repeated that accusation from last June until he stepped down from office.
Bibi is responsible for the entire country. “I want my son home,” Mor said, but we are part of the nation and a state cannot surrender to a terrorist organization because of what that means for the future.
Personal attacks against Forum Tikva members
Mor related to the confrontation between Elgarat and Or that I presented in the first part of this article and to the fact that, on a programme also broadcast on Channel 13, he, his family, and other Forum Tikva members were called “Death Eaters,” a reference to the evil characters in the Harry Potter books. They were accused of not caring about their children or the sanctity of life.
He would like an apology from the channel. The unity of the nation has to be held as a higher value than ratings; they should not be giving a platform to someone who harms the fabric of Israeli society even if heated confrontations make for entertainment.
Mor said that there are good relations between Forum Tikva and 98% of the families in the Hostage and Missing Families’ Forum.
We are split in our opinions but not in our hearts. … I want us all to be together like an iron fist against those who are holding our children. … When they will see us united, our loved ones will return more quickly.
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I feel for you Sheri. And all of Israel
"My country or my son?" As a mother this is what I must ponder. I liken it to an inner debate I've often had within myself. I am opposed to capital punishment as a rule. I also know if I had a child raped/tortured I would want the perpetrators killed. I could imagine doing it myself. In that moment I am grateful that I do not make the laws. I believe the law must protect the greater good, but then again what do I say to my son? So I am torn.
What I do know is that weakening my country from within dimimishes its leadership's ability to fight the enemy. In that scenario, there are no winners.